AQUARIUS

January 20 – February 18

You'll meet someone mysterious this week. Don't get attached. Neither the name nor the mustache is real.

ARIES

March 21 – April 19

You'll throw caution to the wind this week, only for it to blow back in your face.

Cancer

June 22 – July 22

You'll open your heart to someone special. Close the curtains first; we’ve all seen the show.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

You've been working too hard. Take a night off and make one beautiful mistake. Two, if they brought a friend.

Gemini

May 21 – June 21

You'll be torn between two lovers this month. Relax. They've already agreed to share.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

All eyes are on you this week. So are the cameras. Smile, and keep your hands where we can see them.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

We know what you did last Thursday. We just wish we'd been invited.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, you're one of them.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

Adventure calls this week. Let it go to voicemail. It sounds a lot like the district attorney..

Scorpio

October 23 – November 21

People will assume the worst of you this week. Learn to accept the compliment.

Taurus

April 20 – May 20

Your dreams are trying to tell you something. Ignore them. They've been seeing someone behind your back.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

Your standards are famously high. Lower them tonight, then lower them again around last call.